Feb 13, 2014

Snip.

You know, I have realized that having to lose weight is not just a physical but a mental process. Once you dig deep enough to get to the point where you're so lost, you don't know what to do or say or think, when you break down and cry like a baby, when you let go off that tough exterior, you lose a lot of emotional baggage and that shows on the weighing scale as well as on your body too. I am still a work in progress as far as all this goes, but I think I am ready to be out with the old and in with what and who really matters.

Over the years I have spoken about de cluttering and letting go but when we say we let go of things, we sometimes bury some emotions just because we are not in the state of facing them at all. Those emotions, in our opinion are not worth the hurt and tears, but they cause us more damage than we can think. Every time we talk to someone we are seemingly opening up to, we speak about either having some emotional skeletons in our closet or having gone through a lot in life and being able to feel the pain of some people because we experienced it at some point in our past. Did we really deal with those emotions at all?

I guess we need to fish out all those buried emotions from inside, and deal with them, cry over them, and when we talk to people the next time, we think to ourselves that as much as we are aware of how it felt, we are so glad that we are not in a place that we can feel it anymore.

I just wrote a Dear John letter to my jerk of an ex boyfriend. Although it has been several years since we broke up, I guess there was some part of me that kept certain emotions locked inside. It would have been another story if it was anything happy but all those memories are of disapproval and betrayal. I wrote to him saying that I forgive him for everything he did, not because of any other thing but for my own peace of mind.

I feel light headed already. He will probably send me an email back with a list of swear words I would have never heard of, but you know what, I forgive him. I will update on how this affected my weight loss goals next week.