Mar 30, 2009

The perfect prayer!

I personally do not believe in Casteism, Religion, Gender Bias, Ghosts, or anything. But I do believe that there is a divine intervention. I believe in God. And I also follow that this God resides in our hearts, minds and souls. You need not go to the temple to get his blessings, coz he is all around. And recently, I have found the perfect prayer, I looked for it everywhere, but here it was, just lying next to me, with someone special...

Thank you God for the world so beautiful,
Thank you God for the food we eat,
Thank you God for the new things we learn,
Thank you God, for everything.

Isn't it just the perfect prayer? It is short, sweet, and covers everything. I have surprisingly found myself saying it in my mind every night before I go to sleep, and look back at what I have done the entire day. I just felt, I should share it with all of you.

Cheers to all!

Mar 28, 2009

Dear Kapoor Thali Wala

Dear Kapoor Thali Wala,

I don't really know how to tell you this, Our romance is over. I think I realized it When I tripped on peanut butter In a clown suit and I saw you Pull the pants off of The Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're Open enough to understand The middle-east is planning their revenge on you . I'm returning your pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory. You should also know that I Always wanted to break your legs and I love Oprah Winfrey.

Kiss my butt,


I am tagging Nikhil, Nabila, Neeraj, Akansha, Stephen, Amith, Kajal, Kingsley and anyone who finds this funny :)

A special mention for Rag :P I would love to see your tag but I think you're not into this stuff.. Haha! But if you get the time do post it in my comments, I would love to read it!

Kajal, I promised you I had something happier coming up! :D

Here's how you do it..
Dear (person you spoke to recently,
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chr├ętien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your pants?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – l
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

Mar 25, 2009

Deafening Silence!

Dreaded by the contradiction with my heart,
Empty it is, my Devil's workshop,
And in the mirror of Denial
Faces my inner insight, 
Engulfing me from top to bottom,
No, they do not accept
Invites for confrontations;
Neither do they deny, They refuse to
Go away from inside me, let me talk.

Speech is what 
I need, to convey them to you,
Love is what 
Entangles the two.
New games they play, The mind and heart,
Chasing me away from myself, 
Expectations make it tougher to talk.

This is my first attempt at Acrostic poetry. When the mind and the heart are on a war, there is a deafening silence. It makes conversation impossible.

Mar 24, 2009

Horns and Halos

I have been inspired to write this poem by my blogger buddy Rag. This one is a response to his poem Alter Halo, and also a sequel to my earlier composition, Transformation.

You wish yourself a lot of things

You wished, had things been alright

You would not ask for a better someone

Nor wish he had never occurred.

You showcased denial; you faced your trial,

Standing in the middle of nowhere you wonder

What went wrong? Why did you falter?

You ignored and avoided his constant voices,

You rendered deaf ears; I know you heard him alright

Why dig your past? You already made your choices.

Why did you not confront the snake that did not bite?

While your sore eyes close; to sleep, awake to nightmares,

He lives his night, Isn’t he the ghost of your sight?

As you wait for a new beginning,

You try erasing your past,

But mind you, it’s all in vain,

He will last as long as you last.

Enter the Angel, I am not the Ghost,

I will not witness, I will warn and try,

Don’t lend me your deaf ear,

For I speak wise, I will brush

Your sore eyes while they fall asleep

To a new world of dreams,

But here is my first warning,

Do not try to kill him now,

Not now, not ever, not till its forever.

For Ghosts, they have no existence,

But they exist where Angels do,

When you accept me into your life,

Make sure you take him too.

As you trot this Globe,

Gather the knowledge of the wise,

And selfishly live your dream,

We will watch you shine,

We shall talk, take you into confidence,

And now again, the choice will be yours.

But remember this now and always,

It is not how hard you get hit in life,

It is how hard you get hit, and still keep going.

P.S. I just could not wait till I posted this one :P I hope you like it Rag!

And yeah, the last two lines are from Rocky Balboa :P I love that movie!

Readers, please do comment on this one :)

Mar 20, 2009

Weight and Watch!

After gruesome sessions of dieting, attempting to gym, trying in vain and bouncing back to square one every single time, the battle for losing those extra pounds just seems endless. I have tried everything! From making a diet chart to practicing Yoga to turning Vegetarian to eating less to going for walks and working out in the gym. The bottom line still remains, I am overweight!

Being overweight is something not many people are proud of. The few who say they are proud to be overweight are the ones who have issues deep down inside their minds. I am one of those few. I don't say that I am proud to be overweight, but I say that I am happy the way I am. That is not how it works every time! To list a few things, you tend to "Stand Out" whenever you are in a crowd. Easy to notice. You cannot steal someone's purse and just run away :P And people call you names, if not in front of you then definitely behind your back. The ones who genuinely do not want to tease you, do refer to you at other places like this, " Hey, I had introduced you to my friend right? The Pilot girl, the one who is a little hefty?" Ofcourse they don't intend to hurt your feelings. But that's the way it is! And especially for me, going shopping is some kind of an embarrassment! Although I am not THAT heavy, I have trouble finding clothes of my size because of the disproportionality, especially in India [In the US and Canada 90% of the women are on the heavier side anyway, I come in the slim category there! :P Yay!]. I had gone shopping the other day with my boyfriend, and he coaxed me to have a look at few of the skirts and tops hung up there. I was just looking for my size, when I saw some really pretty tops in the small size section. And I was just checking them out. Maybe I could get something like that stitched for me, I wondered. But the shopkeeper was so rude, he came upto me and said, " Madam, aapke size ke kapde yahaan nahi, vahaan hain!" I was like, " Dekhne ke paise lagte hain kya?" Then he shut up and left. But what an asshole he was! That is why I always get my clothes stitched!

Health wise being overweight is not so cool either. I have been constantly getting remarks on my medical report, every year! And my medical is strict because all flying personnel have to get their medical done from the Indian Airforce Medical Center in New Delhi. So I am always advised to lose weight. They don't even spare the slim looking people for being overweight! [LOL, what an excuse!]. And then there is this whole deal about being lazy! Slim people are lazy too, but the overweight ones are pointed out and called out by names like 'Couch Potato'. I mean What the eff are people thinking?! Oh I forgot to mention about the dirty looks you get when you indulge into eating anything. Be it salad, or biscuits, or deserts, anything! At such point of times, you decide, enough is enough, I will show these people that I can lose weight. You go home and prepare a diet chart and plan out everything. You go shopping for health food and stack up your pantry. You religiously follow your diet for a day or two, and then there are 2 things: [a] You lost a few kilos! and [b] You did not lose any! When [a] happens, you decide to gorge on a piece of your favorite chocolate cake as a celebration [Aah... What the hell, I will make up for the calories I am gaining by eating this indulging piece of chocolate cake, just let me take another bite!] and when [b] happens, you decide to have the piece anyway, maybe even an extra piece! [Oh lord, I can never lose weight, let me just eat and be happy instead of wasting my appetite over stupid health food] :P That is what I call emotional eating!

Alright enough of ranting now, let us look at a more positive aspect. Firstly, size zero looks PATHETIC! Kareena Kapoor looks anorexic! And so do the teenaged models who appear on the covers of Vogue and Ford magazines and model on FTV. And hey, fat at the right areas is a good thing ;) It is way better than skin and bones! And when you're heavy, you're often referred to as 'Cute' and 'Bubbly'. Not only that, research and surveys have shown that the overweight lot of the people are the ones who are more fun loving, jolly, and warm human beins at heart. I personally think, whether you're fat or not, it is the attitude which matters! Even overweight people can make heads turn [in a good way] if they have the ability to dress well, think well and be presentable. It is your personality that counts!

I have been overweight all my life. I am not ugly looking, Not do I look like a football, but yeah I am on the heavier side. I have been facing a lot of music for that. I used to think I was fat all these years, but looking at what I have become now I am thinking, that was healthy and slim what I was before. Just sitting in the cockpit and not working out has made me into a couch potato myself! Thanks to my genetic inheritance my height is pretty alright and I still look balanced. But I don't wanna look ugly in that Pilot's uniform! So I have to lose weight! I wonder how I managed to find guys in my life with all the weight I had on my body :P My boyfriend is after my life to get rid of the weight and I better do, before he dumps me ;) :P.

Well, enough being said now, I pledge to lose weight and get in better shape before I have a job! I will try and maintain my BMI in the optimal and near optimal area. I will try to embrace Ramdev Baba again and do some Yoga too :P One thing which has been helping me in keeping a check on myself is checking my weight regularly, say once in a couple of days. That way I get no shock treatment like I got the last time when I stood on the scale and I had put on 15 kilos! God knows what I was thinking then, lol.

Last but not the least, I just want to say that never judge a book by its cover, you never know what is inside it :) And that is why I love Blogging! Because it is what is inside that matters here!

Mar 19, 2009

Another Tag! By Stephen :)

1. Last beverage: Tea
2. Last phone call: Mommy Dearest
3. Last text message: Airtel :|
4. Last song you listened to: Pyaar hame kis mod pe le aaya [Satte Pe Satta]
5. Last time you cried: Last to last week... sometime.

6. Dated someone twice: Yes
7. Been cheated on? Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? Yes!
9. Lost someone special? Many special someones have lost me!
10. Been depressed? Yeah I used to be!
11. Been drunk and threw up? Thankfully not!

12. Black
13. Blue
14. Grey

15. Made new friends: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Yes!
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yes
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Some of them.
23. How many kids do you want to have: Two
24. Do you have any pets: No :(
25. Do you want to change your name: No
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Spent the day with my boyfriend and cut the cake at 12 01 AM on the next day!
27. What time did you wake up today: 8 AM
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Drinking it up!
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : Getting a job!
30. Last time you saw your father: Last Sunday
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Nothing! It is perfect :)
32. Most visited web page: Gmail

Whats your:
33. Name: Ashrita
34. Nicknames: Ash, Ashri ;)
35. Zodiac sign: Taurus
36. Male or female or transgendered: Female
37. Elementary: C E S
38. School: S C D B H S
39. Colleges: U P G college of Management
40. Hair color: Dark Brown
41. Long or short: Long
42. Height: 5'7 and 1/2"
43. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes
44. Ever been in love? Yes
45. Piercings? 4
46. Tattoos? Yes
47. Righty or lefty: Righty

48. First surgery: None
49. First piercing: 1 yr old
50. First best friend: Santoshri Singh
51. First sport you loved: Tennis
52. First pet : Doggy :)
53. First vacation: Singapore!
54. First concert: None
55. First crush: Nitin Patel from class 7

56. Eating: Nothing
57. Drinking: Scotch!
58. I'm about to: Eat
59. Listening to: Abuses from Ash... Not for me though :P
60. Waiting for: Change!

61. Want kids? Yes
62. Want to get married? Yes!
63. Careers in mind? One and only.. To fly :)

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes
65. Hugs or kisses: Kissing while hugging ;)
66. Shorter or taller: Taller
67. Older or Younger: Younger
68. Romantic or spontaneous: Both
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms
70. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
71. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: None!

73. Kissed a stranger: Yes. I guess I am the most spoilt one in here!
74. Lost glasses/contacts: Nope
75. Sex on first date: Nope
76. Broken someone's heart: Yes
77. Had your own heart broken: Yes
78. Been arrested: No.. But I did go to jail behind the bars!
79. Turned someone down: Yes
80. Cried when someone died: No
81. Liked a friend that is a girl? YES

81. Yourself: Yes
82. Miracles: Yes
83. God: Yes
84. Love at first sight: No
85. Heaven: Yes
86. Santa Clause: No
87. Kiss on the first date? Yes
88. Angels: Yes..
89. Devils: Yes ;)

90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Yes
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? Yes
93. Among you blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? Hmmm... well... I don't know!
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? Yes
95. Wanted to steal you friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? Naah

Associate with someone you know:
96. White: Utkarsh Soni :-s
97. Black: The shirt which Ash looks the best in :)
98. Pink: The Pink Orchid!
99. Red: Mom

100. Posting this as 100 Truths? YES

Hmmm... I would like to tag QuirkyMon, Dream'R, Nabila, Nikhil and PP!

P.S. I just realized! They have asked for 4 favorite colors, but there are numbers for just three :P And 81. is repeated twice ;) But what the hell... It's all good :D

Mar 11, 2009

The Square Root Of Three

I fear that I will always be

A lonely number like root three
A three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath a vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
With just some quick arithmetic
I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed.

This is a poem from the movie : Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo Bay. I know this is not my original work. But this is very close to my heart :) And it speaks a lot to me, and many many others :) Enjoy!

Mar 7, 2009


You, you standing right there,

Yes, you wearing the Dark Black dress

And your face covered by long locks and short bangs;

What are you hiding, your eyes with that smudged black Kohl

Smeared all across your white as light face.

You look so tall and healthy but I can sense the shiver

Running through your spine, as you kneel down helplessly

And cry and scream and wonder what went wrong;

Just when you thought you had me all figured out,

I looked pretty simple and straight isn't it?

I saw you suffer from the time you had senses,

I saw you in hurt and despair,

I saw you worry, I saw you hurry

I saw enough, It was time to smile now, my dearest.

For I saw you try, cry, attempting to die,

I saw you losing, losing your belief in me.

You thought you had me figured out then,

I was being ruthless, merciless, making you feel helpless,

Is all what you could think of

But I was just watching, watching your show.

Just when you thought of ending it all,

I started a new beginning,

You reluctantly embraced my shoulder for crying

You cried lakes and rivers and oceans, But

I knew I had to make you smile, shower you with care and concern,

Make you believe in me, make you better.

You did believe, but you went too far,

You thought I was your puppet

You thought you knew the in and out. You thought I was a plan.

It was time now for a reality check.

I am not your friend, I am not your lover,

Nor am I your near or dear one.

But I am there everywhere, whether you need me or not.

For one thing, you can never figure me out.

Taking for granted and being over confident,

Is not what I want of you,

I say this coz you, yes you my dearest, are my puppet.

And I, am a puzzle, waiting to be put together.

There are a million ways, but you need know which one is best,

As I watch you, hit you, shine on you, as your deeds be.

You struggled, you tried,

You got hurt, you cried,

You acquired me, you smiled,

Do you still not know I am a part of you?

I am as a matter of fact you.

And you thought you knew yourself all along,

Isn't this a shock?

But as I hide in your bosom this time,

Don't let go, I won't grant you a quarter.

It is time for change. It is time, for transformation.

P.S. This is a conversation between Life, in person, with the girl.