Mar 28, 2009

Dear Kapoor Thali Wala

Dear Kapoor Thali Wala,

I don't really know how to tell you this, Our romance is over. I think I realized it When I tripped on peanut butter In a clown suit and I saw you Pull the pants off of The Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're Open enough to understand The middle-east is planning their revenge on you . I'm returning your pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory. You should also know that I Always wanted to break your legs and I love Oprah Winfrey.

Kiss my butt,
Ashrita


:P

I am tagging Nikhil, Nabila, Neeraj, Akansha, Stephen, Amith, Kajal, Kingsley and anyone who finds this funny :)

A special mention for Rag :P I would love to see your tag but I think you're not into this stuff.. Haha! But if you get the time do post it in my comments, I would love to read it!

Kajal, I promised you I had something happier coming up! :D



Here's how you do it..
TAG 10 PEOPLE OR MORE AND THEN....
Dear (person you spoke to recently,
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name






1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your pants?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – l
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

29 comments:

^_^ SENO ^_^ said...

LOL good one:P

IcE MaiDeN said...

d one tht takes d cake.. "Dear kapoor thali wala"
LOLZLLLZZLLLLZLL

Ragpicker said...

Ha ha good one ! it had lol written all over it. But however I'm sorry I cant really understand any of this tagging stuff ... neither I believe I can put any decent humor to it ... Thanks for sharing again & and plz dnt mind ash :)

regards,
Rag.

neeraj_only said...

ashrita...me also got tagged :)

/*had to delete previous comment for getting spelling of your name wrong :) */

i am trying all the permutations and combinations with the possible options to get my "tag-blog-entry". For the time being...unable to sort meaningful 1
Will soon come up with my entry...

i want to say "hats off" to the person who created this "tag".Fun at best..aise scope is there to make this tag better...with more/better options..hehe

finally....bahut hua bakwas ab kaam ki baat....u did successfully made a story out of nothing...and i loved the end..haha :)

WiLD ChiLD said...

Laughing my ass off!! I find it so hilarious!

Akansha Agrawal said...

Hehe... I saw this on facebook, but yours had me grinning and laughing like anything... I'll do it! Thanks for the tag... :D

Satans Darling™ said...

Hahaha! I know Seno!

Satans Darling™ said...

Annie! Totally! I was laughing my ass off when I knew it was him whom I talked to last!

Satans Darling™ said...

No problems Rag :D Thanks for liking it!

Satans Darling™ said...

Thanks for loving it Neeraj :D Loved your tag!

Satans Darling™ said...

Hahah me too Fati!

Satans Darling™ said...

You're welcome Akansha! Waiting for your tag!

Nikhil said...

OHMFG...that was hilarious

Nikhil said...

OHMFG...that was hilarious

Satans Darling™ said...

Hahaha.. Thank you Nikhil, and Thank you Nikhil :P

Miss Cynical ღ Åйu ღ said...

LMAO =)) .. chk mine its for seno...suits her perfectly =))=))

Pretty Me!! said...

i just loved ds !! gosh! how did i miss it before ?? too good :)

sawan said...

sounds like fun :D

Dream'R said...

LOLZ!!..this is one wierd tag!!!...its unbelievably funny as it is..i dunno how i can add to it but anyways i ll give it a go..thanx for taggin me arshi..:-)

Satans Darling™ said...

Isn't it Prats :) Thank you :)

Satans Darling™ said...

Sawan :) It is fun :D

Satans Darling™ said...

You're welcome Amith :)

Jagjit said...

Hey, first time here. Loved the tag and did it right away.

Here's what I got:

Dear Miss Call Center Girl,
I don't really know how to tell you this, our affair is over. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in your car, and I saw you Pull the cloths off My salt-beef bucket. I am sure you're
Masochistic enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I am returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep Your left Ear as a memory. You should also know that I Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and Thanks for the Cocaine.

Go drown yourself.
Jagjit.

:D

Satans Darling™ said...

LOL...Loved it! Welcome to my Blog Jagjit! Keep visiting :)

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

LOL. Crazy stuff.

I Love Oprah Winfrey. :)

Kisses. (not for the butt)

Satans Darling™ said...

Thanks ;) I love Oprah too <3

Kisses to you too :) You know they're not on the butt :P

Ramu's Corner said...

So You were the starter/ innovator of this naughtiest tag ah?!! good job.. and I enjyed reading all your tags!

Ramu's Corner said...

Hi, also I was a bit excited and free in office reading this funniest tag.. So just wanted to put in my flavours to it..

here it goes..

Dear Boss,

I don't really know how to tell you this, the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in your car and I saw you Hit on, the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand that I may pee my pants. I'm returning your “love letters to me” to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I “told in my confession today about the moose poaching” and “thanks for the Cocaine”.


Go milk a cow,
Ramu...

Satans Darling™ said...

Hahaha thanks a ton Ramu!

I LOVED YOUR TAG TOOOOOOOOOO!! ROFLMFAOLPCO!