Jul 1, 2009

The world is mixing!

I love Russell Peters. I know people form opinions about him and some of them really hate him saying he is a racist person etc., but I find him very funny and he is one of the greatest comedians of these times. Yeah maybe some of us cannot stand his jokes, because they might be related to us in some way to us. Anyway, so he had said in one of his shows that, ‘The world is mixing’. He actually concluded that part saying that in the future everyone is going to be a strange mixture of Indian and Chinese people :P And recently, I have come to realize that it’s coming true. The change has begun.

Let me start this way. I hate the kind of people who try to show that they’re above everything else. They would be working in NYC, but they would try to be more Indian than Mr. M.K. Gandhi. Of course, they’re just posing. So there is this guy I knew some 7 years ago. I remember him now because he is a junior of one of my close friends and they study at the same university in the US. And well recently I found out that we have common friends [an acquaintance for him] too. Now since my friend mentioned him, I got this whole flashback of the times when I knew him. He is still like what he was 7 years ago.

This guy was trying to ask me out back at that time. It was all in vain, I was seeing someone else. Back then he used to lecture me as to how stupid he thought people [Indians] were, when they used terms like ‘dating’ and ‘seeing each other’. He used to find it totally un-cool. He used to think we are copying the west. Now my friend told me that he still inquires about me, as in who am I going out with etc. and he still thinks the same way. He says that, Indians try to ‘act’ cool by embracing the western culture [and failing at it miserably] and they just show their cheapness by using words like ‘dating’, and ‘seeing each other’ and ‘proposing’. These are the kind of people I hate in particular.

What I would like to convey to him, and all the other people who think alike, is that first of all it is none of your business what am I up to. Secondly, how does it matter if I, or anyone else, not just Indian, but Nepali, Pakistani, Puerto Rican, Italian, Scottish [or any person coming from anywhere else in the world except from the US of A] consider dating? Or even if we don’t then what is your problem in that? Now if you were so Indian yourself, you would not be asking me out 6 years ago, when you were 20 and I was 15! And my friend even mentioned him trying to eye on this girl at the university today. How fake can people be!

And he brags about being Indian. About Indian arranged marriages and culture. There is a unbelievable count of extra marital affairs in these marriages. And what is wrong with dating anyway? Why can’t two people just enjoy the courtship period. I think it is way better to be dating than marrying a complete stranger and then finding out that you are totally incompatible even if your ‘kundli’ says so. Tomorrow even if I do go for an arranged marriage, I would actually make sure that we are compatible before I even say a yes. In short, I will date him before marriage. No one can do anything about it. That’s just how I am :P And another thing, dating does not mean getting physical all the time. People really need to understand that.

Since I have already mentioned so much, I think this post would be incomplete without mentioning live-in relationships. Live-in relationships are becoming more and more popular by the day in India. That does not necessarily mean we are copying the west. It just makes sense to the people who are into it. They are not a menace to this society just because they live together while they’re unmarried. Most of these couples are very responsible individuals who want to make the right choice.

Lastly, I would like to end this post by saying that whether Indian or American, whether Straight or Gay or Bisexual, whether Hindu or Muslim, everyone has the right to make a choice, and live happily. They are not answerable to anyone and no one has the right to pass any judgment about them. It’s a way of life. We need to accept it. The world is really mixing now. Love is really above all odds.

Love can only be created, not destroyed. It can be converted from one form to the other. The total amount of love in this universe will increase exponentially in the proportion of the rate of spread of love.


I don’t know why I posted this :P maybe I was just angry at that guy.. haha. Oh yeah, and do watch the 'world is mixing' video above :D


Brosreview said...

Good points here. Frankly, when I visited India, a couple of years back, I who was quite proud of my culture suddenly felt disgusted when I learnt of all the live-in relationships.

The dating thing did not bother me as I thought and I still think it is a good move as it gives an opportunity to "inspect" someone. Marriage is ideally meant to last forever, so, one needs to be careful and most certain of his/her choice.

But, I also mean dating without getting physical. And, this is hardly possible (as far as I have seen or heard). I still think getting physical without a strong commitment as marriage is not an ideal thing to do. Call me old-fashioned if you want to.

It is live-in thing I dislike, sort of. Inevitably, the community comment on such relationships and inevitably families get involved into it. That, in my opinion is unfair as consequences to be faced go beyond the subjects onto their respective families.

Now, frankly, I don't give a damn of what others think unless they care to come and enquire first handedly. But, mostly, such live-in relationships can step on each of the couple's toes provoking them to do something wrong and regrettable. If, fortunately, they get married, well, all is slid away below the carpet. But, what if not?

Mind you, I am correlating this to my stand on physical relationships before marriage.

Indians are not copying the west. It is merely their influence spreading everywhere. Their modern thinking opening doors for us, offering alternatives, which if you used appropriately, correctly and thoughtfully, can be lucrative.

PS: If I have offended anyone here, I apologize.

MultiMenon said...

Peace!!! :)

What another persons opinion is on you,doesn't affect u as a person.And ikts actually normal for ppl to opinionate,but the thing is that all those notions are better off staying within rather than pouring out bull crap..So if our man has a thing for you,let him live in that fantasy world,poor bloke..

And on his thoughts on Indians,Ill just have two words for him.. **** *** (somethings are better off in asteriks.. ) Don;t u get fretted by all this pal.. :)

Take care n be at peace.. :)


Surya :-) said...

In short i do like your post and about Russel Peters, he is adorable :)
I dont understand why people hate him?
If u dont like him then why such people watch him so curiously....to get insulted???haaaah
i have seen many of his shows in youtube n some downloaded thru torent...and most interesting thing is the spectators are either Indias or Chinese :p

Satans Darling™ said...


I agree with you on most points. Every one is skeptical about live-in relationships when they learn about it at first. Especially in our country where most of the men [nowadays women too] are looking for something more physical than emotional. But the fact is that [Let's forget about the physical aspect here] I consider a couple who has been living in for say 6 months more experienced and mature than a couple who has been dating for 3 years. I can go on and on with the list of examples where people have been dating for as long as 7-8 years and after marriage found out they had nothing in common! Come to think of it, if a person is dating someone, say for 2 years, he will always be at his best behavior because it does not hurt him/her to do that. They still have to go back to their houses and live their own life. But the things which cannot be hidden under this mask of pretense, intentional or unintentional, in a live in relationship. The couple will eventually start being themselves and they can know exactly how well they get along and how compatible they are. I know most of the people will not agree with me on this. But I am sure anyone who has been a part of a live-in relationship will agree with me a 100%.

But I do have to agree with you when you speak of society, norms and the cultural aspect. I think it depends from person to person too. Like I said in the post, the world is mixing. The mixing is still under process and this is probably the toughest time for all the people in live-in's. On one hand there is society and on the other Maharashtra Govt. has legalized Live-in relationships! Complicated stuff.

Yes, there is that risk of things not working out between people in a live-in. That is where self control comes in handy. There need to be rules, and lines need to be drawn as to how far one can go. In any situation, be it a live-in or an arranged marriage, we have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst before hand :)

It's not offensive at all. I am very very impressed because you spoke of not being against dating but also spoke about not getting physical. Now that's a guy rare to find :P And like you said, this change is inevitable and we need to get our mindsets right to embrace it in ways which would not harm us :)

Thank you so much for the comment!!!!

Satans Darling™ said...


I am not fretting, nor am I affected. I gave his example because I wanted to speak about people like him in specific. He did not say anything to me as such. I was worked up because he said it to "Indians" as a whole! And he is an Indian himself :p What a shame!

I'm cool buddy! These people and their comments do not worry me at all, but they do have a good entertainment value and they leave me into splits while I come across them :P

Satans Darling™ said...


Yeah, I love Russell Peters too! I have watched almost all of his shows online. I will make it a point to attend one of his shows someday.

sHiNiNg sUrYa :-) said...

do invite me when u do :p

DPhatsez said...

somebody gonna get a hurt real bad?


PULKIT said...

dear ash,
ur anger at the guy was quite visible in every passing line on this! and its just as to what the dual image of the person u have seen across all these years!
well ... sometimes its like that only dear... nosey and interferring are 2 qualities found abundantly in people who dont talk or discuss the changes around and fail to look things from a both sided point of view!

1 dating - Its fine as far as its between two people who like spending time with each other, ots better then to stay arrogant for ages and one day marry a gal and later demand her to be ur meek slave by dominating her with that big wala male ego that each of us have.. us means the guys specially!
U date a gal, U like her smal smal things and gestures and that turns to addiction and later love in some cases and then thereby u later discover her needs, her arguments, her cross questions, her insecurities and a lot of many other things which she only reveals when she is in a relationship with u in the most honest way that she can! after marriages that entire side might never be talked out between two! cos arguments are heavy at that stage and ego's are bigger and flexibility is lacking, specially in our society! If u can change for ur partner, then it can only take place along the dating period, as u discover new things about her intrests, strengths and weekness every passing date! and frankly speaking... IT IF DONE PROPERLY CAN LEAVE U AT THE MOST SPECIAL STAGE when U mIGHT ONE DAY MARRY UR BEST PAL (which she might become after all those evenings and movies)

2. ARRANGE MARIAGES - A BIG NO! to that..(personal view of course)! reason - my parents are married for 29 yrs, they had a love, inter caste against many wishes types waala filmi marriage! From last 3 days, my dad is in aligarh for some work and I can see my mom ... stupidly looking at phone for 2 hours just waiting for his call at 10-45 in night, they miss each other, they love each other, they respect each other!
I BELIEVE THAT TRUE LOVE if converted to marriage is like that!

Another point is - auto rickshaw and taxi can be arranged and not love, u go to shop to see the model of a Tv but how can u go to see the gal at some house for marriage, thats not understandable to me!
PLUS - I guess dowry and those lavish gifts have survived the test of time only cos of those ARRANGE TYPE MARRIAGES! where u offer 50 lakhs to IAS along with ur daughter!

NOW KUNDLI ? hmm... i dont belive in it, but i wud not comment on people who do! I am not having right to do that! and vice versa is also true :)

LIVE IN - I wud not like to be in it, ON the other hand my 2 close frns are in it and I see them as a very happy couple, no objections and no stupidity! its their life and ... their choice! M just glad and happy that they are happy :)
and same for all other couples who do that!



ps - sorry for long comment!
it became a blog post in itself

swatantra said...


I liked your lines on love, it can only be created not destroyed..

Great!! First time on your blog!! I liked it:)

Satans Darling™ said...


I don't know about that buddy... The seats fill fast you see ;)

Satans Darling™ said...


SOMEBODY... Oye... Russell... Somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad... I don't know who! But I think you might know him pretty well... *devilish laughter*


Satans Darling™ said...


1. I hate it when people misunderstand the concept of dating. People need to realize that above everything, it's respect and friendship comes first. I would even go to the extent of saying that respect is something that comes above love. It's the top priority. Nowadays women are more vocal than what they were before, and the 'abla naari' concept is phasing out slowly but steadily.

2. Love marriages are arranged marriages too ;) Arranged by both parties who get married :D Haha.. I know it's lame. I agree with you on what you said.

3. If I had the power, I would subject every single person [Sasue, Saans, Devar, Jethani, Jeth, Devrani, Naukar] to heavy corporal punishment. They should be shot in the head with a 0.9 bullet :|

4. I don't believe in Kundli's either. But I respect anyone who believes in it.

5. Living in has very extreme public reactions. I don't know if you read the comment I posted in reply to Brosreview's comment, but if you did not, I had said that there is no element of fakeness involved while living in. There is a reason why so many people do it [Apart from sex]. :P

I feel very happy to see long comments in here. I am really blessed to have readers like all you guys, who actually read through the entire thing and comment whole heartedly. Thank you so much!

neeraj_only said...

I want to type " long " comment . Missing my compu ( me using my cell )

i support all your points . But you are lucky to be in "india" , "bharat" me situation aur kharab hai .

Desi galis from my side 4 the 'dude' , due to whom you got angry ;)

Arv said...

Fair points... I concur :)

Aw.S.M said...

u tell him girl :P...yes u posted this coz u were pissed with the guy :).

But ur blog na u cant post whenever u feel like and about whatever u feel like :) and i ll keep reading :).

Well anyways i dont think we r aping the west or anything. To date someone before marriage is actually the sensible thing to do. If we were to go by matching kundilis and stuff, then y r there so many extra marital affairs going on??

Ur "FRIEND" is a jackass and i d rather not waste space talking about him. :)..u concur>?? :P

And live ins..hmmm..to each his own right..some r all for it..good for them..some aint...good for them too :)...if the gal involved is HOT..i toh wouldnt mind :P


Adisha said...

Very well said. Every culture has it's advantages and disadvantages, for that matter. Every person is entitled to their choice. AND every person Should Ideally mind their own business :))

Kudos to you for standing by what u believe in ...

Poor u for being upset.. hope u feeling better now

Satans Darling™ said...

Welcome to my blog Swatantra :)

Satans Darling™ said...


I know you wanna type a lot. I will give you the benefit of doubt ;) Haha.. Kidding.

I was angry at the system more than at him. I don't have the time or the inclination to go and even talk to him :P

Satans Darling™ said...


Your comments always "stand out" amongst all others :P

Satans Darling™ said...

AwSM Amith :D

I agree with you wrt extra marital affairs and kundlis :D

And wah yeh kya criteria hai for live in? :P If she is hot I don't mind! Haha..

Ur "FRIEND" is a jackass and i d rather not waste space talking about him. :)..u concur>?? :P I CONCUR!

Bullshee said...

First time here...controversial post about serious things. I don't do serious. Makes me look stupid talking about things I can't understand!

Though I agree with you about Russel Peters!

Aditi..............:) said...

Gosh.....there is whole new post in eacj comment....Nice post though...strong message!!
I hope that guy reads this post babe... :P

Pesto Sauce said...

Seems you have not forgotten nor forgiven that guy

aZoed said...

hehe... began with Russel Peters and ended ranting... before I forgot nice twist to the Laws of Thermodynamics :P yey! i still remember what they taught me @ engineering school...

You know, even I agree with dating proposing etc. being foreign to our culture... It's the nature of the family ties and the ensuing generation gaps that leads me to say this... I may have come far from the time when my mother used to give those 'explain' looks when a 'friend who is a girl' called on the landline :P, but the fact is our definitions of dating, going around , propsing, romance would be rather unWest like...

I'm not really sure if I was able to put to words what I meant... so I'd wait for your reply in this case...

aZoed said...

I'm a BIG BIG fan of Russel Peters' by the way :P

AJai said...

This guy you've written about sounds like one of those NRI dudes from the old YashRaj/ Subash Ghai movies. The rest of the world can progress but India and Indians should not change. I couldn't believe such people were real but i've actually come across a few in my life.
As for Russel Peters, I don't like his comedy. I admit he is very popular and all, but I somehow don't get his humour. Don't mind! :P

Satans Darling™ said...

Hello Bullshee :D

Welcome to my blog, I have read a lot about you on DPhatsez blog :P

I appreciate the honest comment. It's not like the people who comment anything just because they have to!

Satans Darling™ said...

I am so glad you read it all. I am touched :)

Satans Darling™ said...

Pesto Sauce,

That is one person I would never forgive not forget :D

Satans Darling™ said...


I think I got what you meant. Bridging the gap between generations is something we have to respect while dating etc. But this guy is barely 26! And this is not what bothers me, what got me all worked up was that he, on one hand asks people out for dates, and then says that Indians do all this [try to act cool].

Yeah I agree with you. Our ways are not like the west. We are adapting and adjusting and probably making our own new ways. But no one can say that we copy the west.

If a person can call Anu Malik songs "inspired", how can they ever think of saying that we "copy" cultures :P

In the west, they practice a lot of Yoga and Pilates. But that is not copying the Indian culture. Even their version of Surya Namaskar is slightly different than the Indian version and this is the fact. You know what I mean?

I was not pointing this comment out at you specifically. I am just trying to explain whoever reads this. I should have added this in my post but it just got cooked up in my head :P

Satans Darling™ said...


Yeah you're so right about the NRI dude part!

And hey I don't mind at all! :P It's not like everyone should love RP :D But yeah some people call him racist which I think he is not.

Anonymous said...

Haha.. I will definitely force Ziyaad to read this post!! We love Russel Peters too:) Worthy post:)

Yeah it's so true.. It's our Life..

The only thing that bothering others is the culture...

ZiLliOnBiG said...

I agree with you, business should not be mixed with pleasure and vice versa, like saying driving shouldnt be mixed with drinking. Everyone has the right to chose his choice of business, and he can be a gay if he wants to. but that doesnt mean that we are aping the west. In fact in ancient times( i learn t it on discovery channel)people of harappan civilization practiced live-in relationaships. Doesnt that mean west is aping east?

I too am a big "phanka" of Russel peters. Ciao:))

aZoed said...

I'm glad you got what I meant... yes, its exactly like getting inspired and then adapting to the inspiration. The Mr. 26 year old is a hypocrite, and a real good ambassador for the community - something I forgot to say all through...
and Anu Malik was THE best example you could've quoted

Satans Darling™ said...


I know! We all need to think above culture. We need to think equally of everyone. Tough but not impossible :)

Satans Darling™ said...


Hi5 buddy! We all love Russellllllllll! Somebodyyyyyy....


Satans Darling™ said...


Haha.. Glad you liked the example. I agree with you man! Mr. Hypocrite needs to get a life!

mysterious gal said...

U know na Ash how much i love u for this post :D
Can i forward it to so many losers :P
i come across so many such losers.....who have issues abt dating, abt virginity........and best of all questions abt how can u be of particular religion and do this and that.....give me a break...atleast i m not double standard like u ppl who secretly date and then give jargons

and people who act so indians and yet are first to flatter the americans and refuse to be considered indians after few years in US.....

and ppl who consider dating is just abt being physical....shd give their rotten brain a check .....

i guess ur writeup made my brain act up too :P

workhard said...

Hey u know what.. i hate those kinda ppl myself.. there like ... since they cant get what they want... they try to trash u.. its just like the fox saying 'the grapes are sour' cause it couldn't get its hands or paws or whatever u call them, on it...

Miss Sunshine said...

Loved the post. :D
I love the explanatory way u write in.. :D
resplendant :)
and yeah..these "super cool" people need to get a life.
REALLY! Idiots. :)