Weather; it's gloomy outside,
I sit in the center of my square bedroom;
Leaving my eyes, are tears of blood,
Defeat, Deceit, Death, signified by each one.
I look outside, it's a dark black sky,
Seems there is no light till the end.
The walls appear to close in on me now,
Heartbeats, I can feel, they dimmer every passing minute.
Ending is my suffocation - Yes, this is the end.
With humid moisture, a warm breeze touches my cheek,
I feel that caress, I look outside one last time;
No, this is not a new beginning,
Dawn is not even close, there is a storm behind that warm wind.
P.S. I wrote this a few days ago when Leo prompted me to take up this acrostic. I have a feeling not all may like it since it's so dark! But do let me know what you guys think! Oh and yes! This is in no way related to me :P Just fictional!
20 comments:
I loved it. Actually I didn't know its acrostic, may be cuz I was reading what you were trying to tell. Then I went back and read it again. Must say, it's really nice :D
Yayy my first comment! And thank god you did not read it as an acrostic first! Must have conveyed the meaning to you even better :)
Thanks for liking it!
SD..
DELICIOUS... i loved the dark brooding flavour, the association with claustrophobia and death, and the sheer hopelessness of it all.
i love your hand at acrostics... you go!
Amazing attempt....Wild is the wind!!! truly beautiful....a little negative...write something happy the next time :P
Btw am sorry I dint know it was your bday!!! Belated wishes!!
Take care and keep blogging!! :)
LGL... Thank you so much girl!
Aditi :)
I was actually aiming to write something dark this time! But yes, I will be having something positive coming out soon too :)
lovely poem Ashri.. i realised it was an acrostic.. i have read so many acrostics that my eyes looked for the beginning letters first. .. :P but hey this was beautiful, it conveyed a meaning and the lines and expressions were not repetitive (something that happens in some dark poetries).. good one. kudos Ashri!
new poems at my place! come n read!
ya! even i knew it was acrostic! because of the title! :)
but the words just were too good! :)
Thank you so much Leo!
I did go thru it LGL :D
Ash, i sure hate sad endings, but i luv dark :) and i luvd this :) good one girl!
Thank you :)
Love the dark shades in this one. Different! I like that. Very smart usage of semi-colon in the starting line.
The entire piece is good. Keep writing!!!
Thank you Brosreview :) You keep visiting!
Its very nice..sadly now my life is like this poem..dark n dead
There is always a bright sunny morning after a dark storm!
A good read
---- dark and broody-
You could have written something light... it would have been a even better read.
Do write such a light poem. :)
Oh I wanted it to be dark :) I am taking it as a compliment :P Will come up with a happier version too :)
I can actually use some of that weather now... so bad that I could break out and take my holidays :)
take care da...
glad that its only fictional :)
cheers...
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