Where are you? I await since dusk,
The dawn has passed and long gone now
I stand alone in this darkness, walls closing in,
Inch by inch they make my place smaller
In your heart, I deserve this, I know.
The sand is eroding under my feet,
I am helpless, but I will be waiting
Even if I drown in this sand and get my life eroded.
Love is not love which alters itself
But alterations are a part of Love,
Love is not all roses and kisses
But swords of words comprise it too
To err is human, to forgive divine,
No human is a lover without an error
And no love divine is divine, if forgive u not the error
Note : I have tried to make it short and non-rhyming this time. The idea of love being altered has been derived from a Shakespearean Sonnet which I read recently. Many times we hide things from our beloved, Mom, Dad, friends, or our better halves. But it is only because somewhere deep down inside we fear losing them. I wrote this for such situation. Hope you people like it :) Criticism is welcome and comments will be loved :P
The dawn has passed and long gone now
I stand alone in this darkness, walls closing in,
Inch by inch they make my place smaller
In your heart, I deserve this, I know.
The sand is eroding under my feet,
I am helpless, but I will be waiting
Even if I drown in this sand and get my life eroded.
Love is not love which alters itself
But alterations are a part of Love,
Love is not all roses and kisses
But swords of words comprise it too
To err is human, to forgive divine,
No human is a lover without an error
And no love divine is divine, if forgive u not the error
Note : I have tried to make it short and non-rhyming this time. The idea of love being altered has been derived from a Shakespearean Sonnet which I read recently. Many times we hide things from our beloved, Mom, Dad, friends, or our better halves. But it is only because somewhere deep down inside we fear losing them. I wrote this for such situation. Hope you people like it :) Criticism is welcome and comments will be loved :P
16 comments:
this is by far ur best creation!!
keep it up!
wow... *applause*
i agree with nikhil
UR best and the most amazing creation :-)
it captures the rarest n truest feeling of a beloved
And ya i agree we do hide certain things but don't we even hide certain thoughts and we do out of love ...and its the fights and the realizations only which help to strengthen any relation
way to go girl
keep writing
love you loads
Thanks Annie!
Thanks Nabs, thanks a lot. And yes it is complicated na, we hide things from them and then we regret hiding them when they find out :P
ya..we do regret ..but thats human nature....foremost to every thing is the urge to be loved and we dont wanna lose that and that fear makes us do such things ....but then trust me Love is Supreme and our loved ones do understand that fear too........and these r tests which if pass we r true winners ...and all amazing ppl like u pass it :-)
Thanks a lot Nabs :) You know what your words mean to me :)
why u tried to make it short? we love to read u !!! Satans Darling™ readers plz shout with me again and agin we love to read U !!!!!!!
Awww Kishore :) Thanks so much, it is an honor to know that someone loves reading me so much :P
I hope you liked this poem BTW :)
Thanks again!
*bows* ... loved it :-)
>:D< :-*
ps: i dint realise that i wasnt following yu.. :| .. reading all ur stuff today :| ..sowwie :(
stumbled upon ur blog recently - loved it!
this piece is too good as well :)
hey, i see that you are grt with poetry. The 1st thing that i did after i read ur blog was to go back to mine n i posted few of my.. - i dont wanu call it a composition.. do chec that out n leme knw what u think - my fingers are crossed. :)
ps. am really not good at those atleast as of now :P
Thank you so much Sulo :) I will definitely check it out in a bit :) Everyone gets better with time! Like I did...
Cheers!
hey vry nice description of one of the most important emotion of human life ........but guess it got to be much more than forgiveness only.......love has to do with caring,cathexes with love and above all self-sacrifice for the extension of ego boundaries...........all these elements in proper proportion complete this beautiful emotion that one can experience in life
the pic made me go 'aww"
n the poem made me go "awwwwwwww".
mind blowing. am a fan.
Umm, it is nice to see someone writing a poem without trying too hard to rhyme the ends. I am, frankly, sick and tired of such attempts. Ah well!
I can sense the feel in this piece. However, I am really not sure of the insertion of moral facts in it. You could probably, express the same ideology in a poetic manner instead. It tends to get prosey towards the end.
Good job! Make it great!
Point taken Brosreview, and I noticed it does get prosey towards the end!
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